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Re: you know those little grates?
Hi I agree with the other two about use of the word 'ain't.' sometimes they’ll have steam coming out of them or something I'm not big on the line 'or ...
May 7, 2010 -
Re: you know those little grates?
Not something i would normally read but its good. The main thing that bothered me is the 19th line. and the fall ain’t enough to kill me, but the word ...
May 7, 2010 -
Re: you know those little grates?
in the sidewalk? sometimes they’ll have steam coming out of them or something and if you look down through the metal grates they go about fifteen to twenty feet to ...
May 7, 2010 -
Re: vomitspit
What would be more poetic, actually, is you throwing everything away except for the last stanza. So you would cut all the fat and go straight to the main part ...
May 6, 2010 -
Re: vomitspit
Haha, this reminds me of some of my old poems to get into a character's head. Although, like this poem, it wasn't very poetic at all. XD Conflict and such ...
May 6, 2010 -
Re: vomitspit
Firstly, a great way to show why being a vegeterian help! Though, I personally, could never turn away from a big juicy peice of steak ! Applaud for the Title! ...
May 6, 2010 -
Re: vomitspit
he wanted to buy me a steak as a reward. I told him I was a vegetarian. people think it’s weird when I tell them that. hold on, he said, ...
May 6, 2010 -
Re: Things Science Can't Explain
Judaism and Islam? They are the three Abrahamic religions, and they're loaded with similarities. That's because they all come from the same place (abraham). Christianity started out as a cult ...
May 5, 2010 -
Re: Born Like This
Smokes on a pickle, this is darn great! :) Holy Macintosh, I was caught all through this peice. I think the structure goes a 'lil funny when you start getting ...
May 5, 2010 -
Re: Born Like This
as political landscapes dissolve The Brazilian raises his left hand from the stock of his rifle to the rosary around his neck. He squeezes the wooden crucifix, the body of ...
May 5, 2010 -
Re: Negative Sentence
This is a collage I made for my art appreciation class my freshman year in college. I used photo-manipulation to negate the colors. I also have the original here. I'd ...
May 2, 2010 -
Re: My Finale- A Short Story of Pain, Suicide and Grief
Hello SteveNorth, looks like I'll be the 1st one critiquing your story today. This piece reads more like a prose poem, which is good for emotional pieces like this. You ...
May 2, 2010 -
Re: Twilite Speedbal (part 2)
Hello again, BlackThought! I was actually kind of disappointed by the conclusion, if only because it looks like nothing was really settled, and thus, nothing was really concluded. Maybe I'm ...
May 2, 2010 -
Re: Twilite Speedball (part 1)
Okay... That bad huh? Guess I'll find something to do with my life. I was thinking about enlisting in the Air Force. lol Seriously though, any feedback will help me ...
May 2, 2010 -
Re: Twilite Speedball (part 1)
I've been meaning to review this piece for a while, and I will get to it soon! I don't have the time now, but check this space later, I'll edit ...
May 2, 2010
